HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO RYAN, OUR FIRST TEENAGER

 

 

Today Ryan is 13 years old.    My heart feels so full today. 

I am so grateful to Ryan’s birthmother for choosing life and for choosing us to be his parents.  I won’t go into details about Ryan’s adoption story because that is his story to tell when he is older.  He has heard his story enough to know he is special and was chosen to be in this family.  He doesn’t view his birthmother as someone who “gave him up”, but rather someone who made a very unselfish plan for his life.   Her courage and strength is something I admire about her and I see those traits in Ryan.

I will never forget the day we met Ryan’s birthmother.  She showed me his ultrasound picture and my heart literally skipped a beat.  I looked at the picture and felt an immediate connection.  There was no doubt in my mind that he was my son.  We were blessed to be able to hold Ryan 15 minutes after he was born.  His eyes were open and he looked at us with this knowing expression in his eyes.  I will always cherish the memories of the time in the hospital we had with Ryan’s birthmother, celebrating and just being in awe at this beautiful new life. 

Fast forward 13 years.   It really was fast.  Now Ryan is a teenager and it fills me with dread, nerves, and excitement.  I dread the mood swings and the push against authority that comes with the teen years. In my Child Development classes I learned that 3 year olds and 13 year olds go through similar stages psychologically.  I remember how obstinate Ryan would get when he was 3 years old.  He wanted to do something independently and wanted my help at the same time.   I see that happening now, but at 13 he is too big to pick up and carry him to where I feel he needs to go.  I can’t sit him in my lap and rock away his frustrations anymore.   Hopefully though Ryan remembers he can always count on me to be there.  I hope he continues to wake up every morning seeking to give me a good morning hug.  

Ryan is a good kid. He is a very good kid.  He’s a wonderful big brother.  He will tease the snot out of his little brother and sister sometimes, but heaven help the person who tries to hurt William or Kayla.  Ryan is kind, generous, and funny.  I just have to remind myself during the difficult moments that he is a teenager and not an alien.  Being a teenager may explain his moments of aloofness or rebellion but it won’t be excused.  I will still hold him to a high standard of living out the virtues he has been taught.    I am looking forward to watching him grow in virtue and wisdom.   I am still in awe at this beautiful life God has entrusted to me and my husband. 

                                 This is the Christmas card Ryan spontaneously made us this year.  

                                                  It won't be long before he is taller than me!